cloud collecting #49: Clariloops (Ruby Ester Mae)

...on just seeing what happens and being in love with the outcome no matter what.

I’ve been listening to the music of Clariloops (Ruby Ester Mae) for the past five years, and it’s something I always return to. Ruby contributed to the 2022 Healing Together compilation I curated with Past Inside the Present, and her work has continued to show up in my women of ambient mixes over the years. With a musical voice shaped by clarinet and synth, she has carved out a space in ambient music that feels entirely her own. And as another ambient mom, I appreciate the way she keeps creating through it all. Hope you enjoy getting to know her a bit more with this thoughtful interview and find some time to drift away with her music.

Ruby Ester Mae creates immersive ambient music that weaves together classical clarinet and electronic sound. After completing a university degree in Classical Clarinet in 2017, she began blending her formal training with a love of electronic exploration. Based in Naarm/Melbourne, Australia, she is a performer, producer and educator whose practice is rooted in curiosity and mindfulness. Releasing under the moniker ‘Clariloops’, she has 5 releases to date, most recently ‘The Quiet Below’ through White Lab Recs (UK). In 2025, Ruby opened for Ichiko Aoba to a sold-out crowd at The Forum, Melbourne — a milestone that speaks to the growing resonance of her work. Under Clariloops, she continues to perform across Melbourne venues, with shows that offer a space for deep listening and contemplation.

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1. Your new album The Quiet Below (via Whitelabrecs) has been on repeat since I first heard it a few months ago. You say that 'the music reflects the slowness, tenderness and quiet love of early parenthood.' Could you share more about what the writing experience looked and felt like for you, and how being a new mom has shifted your relationship with music?

The writing for this one was fueled by that second trimester creative energy. I’ve talked to a few other mothers who’ve had a similar experience of getting through the first trimester sickness, exhaustion and general what-the-hell-is-going-on-ness, and then suddenly being filled with this drive to create. I had a real desire to make a coherent body of work, and I wanted it to be inspired by flowing water. The way it moves over little disruptions and obstacles, the way it shifts and changes to find its way through. I would write while my son Sidney (now 2.5) was at childcare, sitting with this little creative project and chipping away at it. I would occasionally touch my belly and chat to our son Hugo (now 8 months) and ask “what do you think?” Haha.

I used to be so hard on myself when writing or coming up with ideas, but having these little humans around has taught me to be so much more gentle with myself. And my creative self is so much more full of life because of that.

As for the “slowness, tenderness and quiet love” I can’t honestly say I wrote these pieces with that in mind, but I hear it so clearly now. Parenthood has a way of transforming you. It strips away ideas you once held so tightly, it softens you. You feel everything as intensely as your children do. And I can hear that softness in this music. Each melody was recorded as it came out, with no re-recording at all. Every melody was like a day of parenting, just seeing what happens and being in love with the outcome no matter what.

2. Tell me about your musical origin story. How did you come to music, then begin to write your own? Were there any key people in your life or musicians you admire who guided you on your path?

I started playing clarinet when I was 9, and guitar when I was 11. Early on I was lucky enough to have a wonderful teacher, Tony Hicks, who is one of the best jazz saxophonists here in Melbourne. I didn’t “learn jazz” as such, but through him I got a beautiful grounding in melody, harmony, music theory, improvisation and musical sensitivity that I still carry with me.

The teacher who lent me a school acoustic guitar when I was 11 also had a huge impact on me. If it weren’t for him I wouldn’t have learned how to learn other people’s songs, and eventually write my own.

Later in high school and then university I had two wonderful clarinet teachers who pushed me to become more technically capable, but more importantly to really connect with what I was trying to say through my instrument. That encouragement of musical sensitivity at almost every step of the way has such a profound impact on a player.

As for the writing I do now, I think I finally just asked myself what I actually wanted and gave it a go. I wasn’t necessarily inspired by any particular artists. I just needed that push from my husband to devote some real time and energy to this music project, which now has such an important place in my life.

3. How do you cloud collect (connect to childlike wonder) in your creativity?

I feel so fortunate to have the two BEST role models in childlike wonder living at my house, following me around everywhere I go, haha. I just follow their lead. Zooming in and being amazed by tiny details, looking for shapes and pictures in the shadows, picking up leaves and marvelling at their markings and colours, getting curious about how things work. There is so much magic around us that we take for granted, and being able to tap into that curiosity inspires me the most.

I’m currently feeling very inspired by the idea that stomata (the pores on leaves) open up more when there’s birdsong, music, or human voices nearby and it actually helps the plants grow. Isn’t that wonderful?

Being truly “in awe” the way a child is feels so rare these days, doesn’t it? BUT the one thing that ALWAYS makes me feel elated, excited and like “wait, WHAT?!” is seeing pelicans. A few years ago I was listening to a Melbourne band called Mote (who I think are making a comeback!) and I looked up to find a whole flock of pelicans flying overhead. It was the most magical thing. They’re just so graceful. To hold onto that feeling, I actually got a tattoo of two pelicans on the weekend, haha.

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